It was a quarter-past-too-late after midnight. Dad had told us to get to our rooms and hit the hay (the irksome mosquitos seemed to be a credible reason to hide beneath the sheets). Sibling and I lingered around the table a little longer catching up on what siblings often catch up on (nothing). The midnight musing was a mish-mash of topics and ponderings whose trailing I cannot properly recall. Sibling stood across the table as I peered from the other side. Siblings mouth opened.
“I get scared when I have nothing to pray for”
My mind came to a speedy halt. Sibling had spoken. I did an inner surveillance of my unwanted needs and needed wants. My inward struggles seemed to creep up whispering sarcastic suggestions of “you can pray for me too!” I began to hear the words beneath sibling’s words. Sibling was not proposing the ideology of lengthy petitions that leave the church prostrate (asleep) nor was sibling insinuating that the absence of requests is “unspiritual.” The layers of the conversation peeled off.
“I always need Him. Even when my mouth cannot echo the deep sentiments of my hearts needs, I KNOW and NEED to be reminded that I need Him”- Siblings ‘words beneath words’
Vulnerability is an art which, often times, we are afraid to be skillful in. “I need help” are the three words that knot the contents of our inner-self, yet, when uttered humbly, release the freedom we’ve been longing for. We, perhaps more seemingly than what meets the eye, have baggage. Collectively, admittedly or not, carry skeletons that seem to aggressively latch onto our picture perfect façade. Every human being, at some point or another, will feel the frailty of their skin and the weakness of their resilience. I for one get irked when faced with the unedited, unscripted and unappealing parts of me. Though “picture perfect” may be the life we eagerly chase for, Gods perfect picture is of weakness coupled with grace for in that picture His power is perfected. God takes pleasure in not just lending out His hand or wisdom but His entirety. The needs and desperate desperation that cries within us are calls from an all-powerful God who rescues when His frail creation calls out to Him in sincerity and faith.
“Satan’s main strategy with Gods people has always been to whisper, ‘Don’t call, don’t ask, don’t depend on God to do great things. You’ll get along just fine if you just rely on your own cleverness and energy.’ The truth of the matter is that the devil is not terribly frightened of our human efforts and credentials. But he knows his kingdom will be damaged when we lift up our hearts to God…He will intervene on our behalf, and we will know that He has done it.” (Ps Jim Cymbal, author of “Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire)
What is it that you need? What troubles your heart? What weights tug heavily upon your heart? Call upon the name of the LORD. He is an ever present help.
At His Feet…